Our Second Visit

We spent another 6 days together and the days went by just as fast as they did on our first visit. While they were not ideal conditions under which I was visiting this time, I’m glad I was able to be there for you. I’m glad that getting married when we did allowed me to be able to visit you under these circumstances. My only regret is that I couldn’t stay longer, and not just because I want to be with you everyday, but because I really feel you still need my love and support there in person with you.

While I’ve been comfortable with you from the very first moment we met, it really felt this time like we’ve just been together forever. I love falling asleep and waking up next to you. I love that I was able to cook for you and your Dad this time. I love taking care of you! When I’m there with you it doesn’t feel like I’m visiting, it just feels like I’m where I’m supposed to be, with you! I fall more in love with you everyday!

I love how your family accepts me. They really make me feel like part of the family. I can only hope that my family treats you the same way when you’re finally here. I love your grandmother as if she were my own. She’s so sweet and it touched my heart when she cried that I was leaving.

An unexpected bonus of visiting you when I did was that I got to spend my birthday with you. I can’t imagine a better way to have spent my birthday than snuggled on the couch all day with you watching movies. It was a perfect way to spend our last day together.

I don’t think leaving you to go back home will ever get any easier. I wish there was a way to ease the terrible sadness I feel for days and days after we part. When we get along so well in person it makes it so much harder to go back to only having the phone and internet to contact each other. And the worst part is not knowing when we’ll see each other again.

There is no one in this world I’d rather be with than you, my love. Like the title of this blog says, I will wait for you forever because I know that someday we will be together and all this sadness of missing you so very much will be just a distant memory. To finally be able to hold you and look into your eyes everyday will be the greatest gift of my life.


The Importance of Listening to Your Heart

We found each other in the most unexpected of places, and while it was clear early on in our chats that we could definitely be friends, neither of one of us expected what was to come next. Suddenly we were catapulted into a whirlwind romance that neither one of us could have stopped even if we tried. We each fell head over heels in love with the other and we both knew that very first weekend that we would be married someday.

Certainly it wasn’t logic that told us this! No rational thought could compel two people with such significant obstacles in the way to reach such a conclusion, and so quickly, especially two people who had never met and had no opportunity to do so in the immediate future. While we talked a lot and both realized what was going on, a lot of things were still unspoken at that time. It was too soon for the words “I love you” though we both felt it strongly. Our chemistry was (and is) unimaginable, like nothing either one of us had ever dreamed possible, let alone experienced. Our romance had barely just begun, yet it was the most deeply intense connection either one of had ever felt in our lifetimes. We’ve been so in sync from the start that the day I woke up hoping you’d call me “baby” on the phone later that night was the night you first did. At first we said we would meet in March, but within a few days we knew that March was far too long and we settled on October. Not long after that we both realized that we couldn’t simply meet for a few days in October; once we were here together neither one of us could bare for you to leave.

We knew we had to be together, yet there were so many obstacles in the way. I had an common-law spouse to get rid of, you had issues of your own to overcome. But we were more determined than either of us have ever been about anything. Barely two weeks into our relationship I told you in an email love letter that I knew you’d make a great step-dad to my kids, and a few days after that you sent me your first love letter (and your ponytail) by mail. We even discussed marriage briefly, even though we’d yet to say “I love you”. We didn’t know exactly how we would make it all work, but we knew that we would find a way to be together. One month into our relationship we had some balls rolling, but there was an unexpected bad day in my life. (You had seen it coming, but I didn’t.) Yet somehow like you always do, you turned the bad into good and that day told me for the first time ever that you were in love with me. We both had known the love that existed between us, but it was so nice to finally say those words to each other. More bad things happened that day, but it all worked out in our favour, and I knew for sure that our plan would work. Everything was falling into place.

Within a month everything was set on my end, and you were ready to go. We were probably a little overeager since everything had been working out so well for us and we overlooked some critical details, so, sadly, due to circumstances beyond our control, you didn’t make it here, and that was one of the saddest, most difficult days of my life. In an instant, we became painfully aware that it would be another year and half before we could actually be together. But this was never a relationship of convenience, and having spent the previous three months conducting our relationship online and over the phone, we knew we had it in us to continue our relationship this way until the day we can finally be together.

Since you coming here hadn’t worked out, I decided immediately that I would visit you over the Christmas holidays. Yet again we would be faced with what we knew from the start would be extremely difficult, the fact that I would have to leave; we would finally meet but it was only a visit. I couldn’t stay with two kids at home to think about. But there was one thing we could do while we were together to solidify our commitment to one another, and that was getting married. Within a few days the plans were made and be both knew in our hearts it was the perfect thing to do.

Nothing could have been more perfect when we finally did meet. Everything was exactly as I had expected it to be between us. We proved to ourselves and to the world that you really can fall in love on the internet. We found true love and real chemistry that was even more intense in person.

We listened to our hearts above all rationality, but doing so very likely saved both our lives. Every fiber of my being tells me we are soul mates and that destiny brought us together. This time apart is certainly a test of our love and devotion, and of our trust and abilty to communicate with one another, but one that I have no doubts we will pass with flying colours. Marrying you was the best decision of my life and I know someday we’ll be together, because we are meant to be.

It all sounds a little crazy if you haven’t felt what we feel, but when the heart speaks loudly you have no choice but to listen, or risk a lifetime of misery and regret.

Our Story – Part 1

Sometimes you find love in the most unexpected of places, and that is certainly true in our case.

It was June of 2012. I was stuck in an abusive relationship. Over the years I had often tried to escape my life through fantasy. But on this particular occassion I discovered a very active online community discussing events in the news. I quickly found many people I could relate to and enjoyed these new friendships very much.

I remember the very first time we spoke publicly. Teddy created a post on a topic that interested me, I responded. (I later found out he wrote the post hoping that I would respond.) Right off the bat he seemed like a highly intelligent individual. I wasn’t looking for love and I had no thoughts at that time that anything would develop between us.

A few weeks later, on a Saturday night, things were quiet in the online community. I saw that Teddy was one of my few contacts online so I messaged him to chat. He was busy and we didn’t end up chatting that night.

Another few weeks passed and we interacted publicly, but had not even really developed a friendship like I had with some of the female contacts I’d met. Then one day Teddy messaged me that he had to tell me something. He was messaging me to warn me about about a particular individual in the community, someone who was pretending to be something they’re not. I thanked him for telling me and thought “He’s a good guy for warning me like that when he doesn’t even know me.”

Over the next week or so we spent a lot of time chatting. He made me laugh a lot, mostly with jokes about my native country. At first our chats revolved around topics of interest, but soon we began to share personal details of our lives. I had been told for so long that there are details of my life that, if I shared them, would cause people to reject me. I had nothing to lose and something urged me to pour out all the details of my history to this stranger online. Unexpectedly, Teddy did not reject me. He was kind and compassionate. I decided it would be ok to share a photo of myself with him. I started to develop feelings for him, but still didn’t think much of it at this point.

It was the end of July and finally one day after chatting all day, I asked him if he would call me. I wanted to put a voice to this person I had spent so much time talking to online. After that first phone call, we talked every night that weekend. He made me smile and laugh even more on the phone than he did online. We were in love by the end of that first weekend. We both knew it seemed so fast to be having these feelings, so we didn’t tell each other in so many words, but we both knew. ♥

To be continued…